Things I learned from my daughter

This July, my daughter lost a long battle with mental health. She taught me a lot living, and now in remembrance. She was brilliant, tender, and trans. She was also introverted and hard to know. She once told me “Meeting people is overrated.” and I’m starting to wonder if there was some truth to that. Even though she had a loving circle of friends and family, there was still things out there that made it hard for her to feel belonging.

I’m trying to piece together something good out of all of this, and so hopefully this helps all of you out there.

Make your inner voice one you love and admire

Serena’s voice was insidious. In her journal she talked about how it was hard to escape, always there. She was brilliant, and the sad thing is that it was as brilliant as she was, and in the end, tricked her into oblivion. No matter what we all said and did, it was that voice that had the final say, and so it is with most of us. Be kind to yourself.

The future is bright and terrifying

There’s so many paths to go and so many have done so well that it’s hard to take that first step if you think you have to be a static definition. If our children could safely experiment with their future, I honestly believe we can keep them safer. Our society puts too much stake in success, not the journey, and there’s so many journeys one can take in a life.

There’s no limit on positivity

Always ask

It’s ok to cry

Ok this is all I can handle for now.

Be true to yourself and love your people.

Serena Nichole Truelove , 1999–2022

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